Hanging by a thread

Sitting at the bottom of a pit
watching the minutes click by till
the next time my mail client check for mail
Rats Still no message

I am stuck in an endless loop,
Can't go forward,
can't go back

Can't sleep, Can't eat
Can't think, Can write
Feel sick

Want to ask what a 4 year is like
Maybe I just want to know your still there
Or that some small part of you still cares

I did not reply
Thus I got no rebuttal
Probably looked weak, but I was too mad

Would like to talk,
face to face,
But e-mail would be OK

Goddess I need you.
You once ask me to "Be the witch, the pagan hippie man that you knew I was".
I guess that is what I am asking you to do for me now.

Is there some compromise?
some half way point where
we can share the hurt and share the joy!

I would do almost anything,
to stop this pain and tears.
To touch the goddess again.